How KISS saved John Landon

“Ahhh…It’s a beautiful morning, isn’t it John?” Mrs. Landon asked. “John? JOHN?! WHERE ARE YOU!?”
* * *
Meanwhile, back at the Kiss pad… “ZzZzZzZz----What was that scream I just heard man?” asked Ace Frehley.
“I heard it too dude.” replied Peter Criss.
“Yeah man, me too.” replied Gene Simmons. “What was it?”
“Not sure, but it sounded like a woman’s shriek.” replied Ace.
“Was it Mrs. Clause?” asked Peter.
“Just a minute, the Com-Wave I Phone commercial is on…Hello? Hello?! Ever wonder why your phone company charges so much, for your home and business lines? Feeling ripped off?...”
“Hey?! Ace!” asked Gene.
“Call I Phone Today…What?!”
“Shouldn’t we check out what happened?”
“TO THE KISSCOPTER!” heroically yelled Gene.
“Aww wicked! We got Dell’s now...Crap, they have Mac Os X on them!”
“You had my hopes up Ace.” Said Gene. “Wait! We have a missed call on the Kissphone! It’s from…Mrs. Landon! She left a message….
“Beep!” The message then began to play. “Kiss! You have to come here! They’ve taken John!”
“Were on our way Mrs.Landon!” Gene then through the dells out of the Kisscopter, because they had OS X on them.
* * *
Meanwhile at the Landon residence…
“Uhh, Gene? Why is there a Dell keyboard jammed into Mrs.Landon’s jugular?”
“…Oops…Damn…That’s going to leave a mark. I couldn’t tell you Peter.” Said Gene.
“It must have been the real Bill Gates...Or…Dr.Phil.” Ace Frehley replied.
“Yeah, that’s exactly who it was! We have to find, and eliminate both of them.” Said Gene.
* * *
Meanwhile at the Dr.Phil residence…
“Looks, like Mr. Gates made his way here too.” Solemnly replied Peter.”
“Yes…He must have. You think he would have thought of a less gruesome way to kill him. He just had to crush his bald head with a Dell monitor.” Said Gene.
“Gene? You seem uptight about something? Is there something you want to tell us? Because, were a band, and we have to talk openly about things.”
“Ok…I through the Dells out of the Kisscopter.”
“…” Replied Ace.
“…” Replied Peter. “You killed them?”
“Well, it was an accident.” Eagerly replied Gene.
“How come you always throw everything from the Kisscopter? You have probably killed thousands of people, but yet, we’ve saved one.”
“Oh c’mon Peter, that’s just like asking, “Hey Peter? How come you talk?”
“Gene, that has nothing to do with anything.” Replied Peter.
“Well…let’s just go find John ok?”
“Fine.”
“TO THE KISSCOPTER!” Yelled Gene.
“Ok, were off to Bill gates’ “House” which is more like a computer with missiles and jumping turtles with lasers attached to there spiked feet.” Said Peter.
…. “I can’t wait to make Gates’ head explode with my Ultimately Supreme loud amp, which makes anything explode in a 20 mile radius. Excluding us of course.” Said Gene.
“Oh, thank god…I thought we would have exploded with it.” Replied Ace.
“Nope, I just have to equip us all with a petticoat KISS jacket. Which, are in the gerbil room on the top shelf.” Replied Gene.
“We, have a gerbil room? Wicked! I LOVE GERBILS!” Yelled Peter Criss.
“Yes Peter we know you have a fetish for gerbils.” Replied Ace. “Were almost at our target. Equip your Petticoat KISS jackets!”
“Can I play with a gerbil?!” girlishly screamed Peter.
“You can bring it along. Remember to feed it, and to give it love.” Replied Gene.
“Oh you don’t have to worry about that!” said Peter.
“We’re here! Exiting the KISSCOPTER! Every one ready to ROCK!?” Yell’s Gene.
“Yeah!” replied Peter.
“Yeah!” replied Ace. Gene, did you remember the amp?”
“Yeah!” replied Gene. “Let’s get ready to R-O-C-K!”
“Alright Gene, enough with that. We’re supposed to be quite until we break down his door! It’s standard stuff Gene. But, we’re not just going to break down his door; we’re going to ROCK his door down!” Triumphantly said Ace.
“Yeah! Turn on the amp Gene!” said Peter Criss.
“Will do dude!” replied Gene. CRRRRACK! ------FUZZZZZBEEEP!!! “ALL RIGHT! I’M ALL SET!”
“GENE! STRUM THAT GUITAR!” Gene raised his arm and strummed the guitar with a giant stroke of AWESOME. BANNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGG! A sudden burst of electricity and flaming rocks and turtles exploded into a giant bomb like reaction.
“WHOA!?” said Gene. Dust and rubble were floating through the air, and around KISS’ legs. As the smog cleared they noticed, everything had been destroyed, EXCEPT…Bill Gates’ house.
“DAMN!!! He must have installed a Firewall on his house!” Said Peter. “Wait! Gerbil? Are you ok?”
“Sigh…Was he in your Petticoat KISS jacket?” said Ace.
“Ohhh…No…NO! NOOOO!!!! GERBIL!!!” Peter blubbered.
“It’s ok.” Gene patted his back. “We’ll get you a new gerbil.”
“NO!!! It won’t be the same!” Cried Peter.
“I have a plan…” Said Gene. “We’ll use the KISS time-machine.”
“But, but, it’s never been tested!” Screamed Ace.
“It’s about to be tested…By KISS! TO THE KISS TIME-MACHINE!”
“Uhhh Gene? Where’s the KISS TIME-MACHINE?” asked Peter while wiping his eyes with a KISS KLEENEX.
“I’ve secretly placed it in Patrick Snails basement.” Replied Gene.
“Patrick Snail?! He lives in the North pole!” yelled Ace.
“Well, if it means that much to Peter, we’ll have to go.” Bravely replied Gene. “We’ll come back here later. It’ll give us time in thinking of a way to break through Bill Gates’ Firewall. So, it’ll do us good. TO THE KISSCOPTER!”
Meanwhile in the KISSCOPTER….
“Man, we were so close to getting Mr. Gates…”said Ace.
“We’ll get our chance again, once we get Peter’s gerbil back.” Replied Gene.
“Thanks Gene, I don’t what I would do without you.” Peter pleaded.
“Aww thanks. See, this is why KISS is still together, we feel the love.”
“Jesus Gene, stop being so…gay.” Ace said.
“Sorry Ace…Where are we now?” asked Gene.
“We’re just about to the North pole now.” Replied Ace. “In fact, WERE HERE!”
“Yes! I can’t wait to see Patrick Snail again!” Said Gene. Let’s go check out where he is…first let’s check the Sobey’s where we last saw him.”
“Alright…I’ll land in the Parking lot.” said Ace. “Everyone, load out!”
“Hey wait, isn’t this Sobey’s only open on Christmas Eve?” said Peter.
“Yeah…Crap…Oh wait…its open!” Said Gene. “It’s Christmas Eve?”
“I guess so…let’s talk to the manager.” Replied Ace.
“Hi! How may I help you today?” Said Steve the Sobey’s manager.
“We were looking for Patrick Snail. We last saw him here.” Asked Ace.
“Ohhh, sorry…We found him crushed by a Mac computer last year…in fact exactly a year ago…Jeez, he was a nice guy.” Said Steve.
“…” replied Gene.
“…”replied Ace.
“Gerbil?” replied Peter.
“He’s DEAD?! A MAC KILLED HIM?!” furiously screamed Gene. “…Oops.”
“GENE!?” yelled Ace.
“GENE?!” yelled Peter.
“You killed Patrick Snail too, didn’t you?” said Ace.
“Uhhh….ssssss….It was an ACCIDENT! I didn’t know I killed him!” confessed Gene.
“Man, you seem to cause more trouble than Bill himself! Anyways, what’s done is done---“ Peter interrupted.
“Or is it? We can use the KISS TIME-MACHINE! We can go back to last year…save Patrick snail, and then use the KISS TIME-MACHINE again, to go back to this time frame…Then, we can save my gerbil!”
“Jeez Peter, that’s actually a quite complex, quickly thought out plan, that might actually work!” said Ace in a “Proud of Peter” tone of voice.
“TO PATRICK SNAILS BASEMENT!” Yelled Gene.
“Man! This place is a wreck!” said Peter.
“Well, he’s been dead for a year.” Replied Gene.
“Where’s the basement Gene?” asked Ace.
“Next to the Gerbil room.”
“GERBIL ROOM!?” interrupted Peter.
“Yes Peter…a gerbil room, go and play for awhile while me and Gene get the KISS TIME-MACHINE set up.” Said Ace.
“WILL DO!” said Peter, as he pranced like a fairy.
Several hours later…
“Peter? It’s ready!” yelled Ace. “You can take the gerbils with you!”
“Really?! WICKED!”
“Just get in Peter…”
“SAY IT AS A GROUP GUYS!” Yelled Gene
“KISS TIME WARP!”
“Alright, remember…we’re in the North Pole last year…in Patrick Snails basement.” Said Ace.
“Right.” Said Gene
“Right.” Said Peter, dropping gerbils all over the inside of the KISS TIME-MACHINE. “Hey wait, don’t we have to save Santa again then?”
“Oh yeah…you’re right, we’ll warp passed that part.” Said Gene.
“Alright, let’s head upstairs and talk to Patrick Snail.” replied Ace.
“Right.” Replied the other two KISS members.
“Patrick snail! Long-time-no-see!”
“GENE! PETER! ACE... YOU’RE ALL HERE!
“Boy am I glad to see you again Patrick Snail.” Said Gene. “Were you planning on going to Sobey’s today?”
“Actually yes, I’m doing my annual shopping.”
“I know this will sound weird to you Patrick Snail, but if you don’t listen to me, you’ll be crushed by a Mac that plunges from the sky. And, it happens today…in the Sobey’s parking lot.”
“WHAAT?!” screamed Patrick Snail. “How do you know this? Why should I believe you?!” asked Patrick Snail.
“Because, we are from the future. We are KISS a year from now. We have already seen you die.” Said Gene.
“…” said Patrick Snail.
“I know this is hard to take in…but DON’T GO TO SOBEY’S!”
“I, I don’t know what to say…” replied Patrick Snail. “So, did you save Santa? Was Christmas saved?” asked Patrick Snail.
“Nope….” Said Gene.
“…” said Patrick Snail.
“Just joking, we saved Santa, and Christmas. We even gave him a guitar to ROCK OUT on.”
“Pheww…I thought you were serious.” Said Patrick Snail.
“Actually, Patrick snail, would you like to come stay with us at our KISSPAD? We would be honored.”
“Really?! Wow…thanks KISS!”
“AWESOME DUDE! We’ll even get you your own PETTICOAT KISS JACKET. With Patrick Snail on the back. What size do you take?
“XXXS” said Patrick snail.
“Jeez, you’re pretty small!”
“Yeah, I’ve been working out.” Said Patrick Snail with a tough look on his face.
“Let’s say it together guys!” yelled Gene.
“KISS TIME WARP!”
Meanwhile back in the Present time…
“Awww man, my place is a dump.” Said Patrick Snail.
“Yeah, that’s because you were dead…But, we changed that!” proudly replied Gene.
“Alright, the KISSCOPTER is waiting outside!” said Ace.
“TO THE KISSCOPTER!” yelled Gene.
“Ahhh…good to be back to this year…last year sucked. Except for that cheesecake I ate. Damn that was good cheesecake. It said KISS CHEESE CAKE on it…it made me feel good inside.” Said Ace.
“Yeah, that was pretty good cheese cake. It made me want to ROCK!” replied Gene. “Anyways, Peter…get your Gerbil and put it in your PETTICOAT KISS JACKET. We’re not going to try the amp gig again, it only did harm to everything but our target.”
“Oh right…So how are we going to brake through the Firewall?” asked Ace.
“We’ll have to give it a KISS VIRUS.” Said Gene.
“KISS VIRUS?” Asked Patrick Snail. “What’s that?”
“Yeah Gene, what is a KISS VIRUS?” asked Ace.
“We’re practically going to give his house a KISS COLD. Then we’ll hack into the Firewall while it’s weak with our new Dell computers that I bought on the way here…Secretly.”
“AWESOME!” yelled Ace.
“Wicked! Yelled Peter from the Gerbil room.
“Amazing!” Yelled Patrick Snail.
“And guess what?!” said Gene.
“What?” said Patrick Snail.
“What?” said Ace.
“They even have windows XP.” Said Gene.
“YEAH!” the rest of the group yelled.
“But Gene, just don’t throw them out of the KISSCOPTER.” Said Ace.
“I’ll try my best.” Replied Gene.
“Hey Gene! We’ve made it.”
“Sweet!” said Gene. “Remember how I said I was going to give his firewall a cold? I was being literal. I ran into Cloud from Final Fantasy 7, and he gave me an Ice materia…Pretty cool eh?!”said Gene.
“Uhhh, what do you do with it? It just looks like a shiny rock.” Said Patrick Snail.
“It makes it so I can cast “ICE!””
“WOW! AMAZING!” Everyone said together.
“But, he didn’t JUST get ME a materia. He also gave me one for Ace, and…Patrick Snail. Sorry Peter…you’re to gay to use them…” said Gene.
“…” said Peter.
“WICKED!” said Ace.
“AMAZING!” said Patrick Snail.
“So, Patrick Snail…you now have the “Lightning” Materia…well, I don’t really have to explain what it does. And, Ace…you get the “Fire” materia, yeah, it’s pretty self explanatory.” Said Gene. “And, Peter, you can stay and guard the KISSCOPTER, while we get to do the good stuff.”
“Well…I feel pretty left out…Oh well, at least I have my gerbil.” said Peter Criss.” Well, see ya I guess.” Said Peter.
“See ya dude.” Said Gene.
“Alright, now that he’s out of the way…”said Ace.
“Hey Ace! Did you bring you KISSLAPTOP?” said Patrick Snail.
“I’m all set Pat!”
….”Let’s head in dudes!” screamed Gene. “Alright, now I have to use my new move on the House…Here it goes!” screamed Gene. “ICE.” A yellow vortex of light then circled rapidly around him. He then swayed his arms into the direction of the house. “WHOA! IT’S COMPLETELY COVERED IN ICE!” yelled Gene. “That was pretty ROCK ON!”
“WICKED! I can’t wait to try mine!” yelped Ace.
“Alright Ace! Put in the code “[//>:IREALLYWANTINTOYOURHOUSESOI’MGOINGTOINFECTITWITHAVIRUS]!” Do it now!”
“Alright! I got it!” screamed Ace. “The door should be open now.”
“Ok Ace…Now’s your chance to melt the ice!” yelled Gene.
“Right.” Said Ace. “Patrick Snail…do you wish to help?”
“DO I!!!” yelled Patrick Snail. The yellow vortex of light then formed around both of them, and started rotating rapidly. They then swayed their hands, or…shell, towards the house.
“WE DID IT!” yelled Ace. “The door is open!”
“Yeah!” yelled Patrick Snail.
“ROCK ON!” yelled Gene. “Let’s head in dudes!”
Meanwhile inside Bill Gates’ “House”…
“Whoa! What’s with all of the Windows symbols?” asked Gene.
“Man, he must really love his company.” Said Ace.
“Yeah…”said Patrick Snail mesmerized of the symbols.
“Well, I guess we should look for Bill Gates’ office then…that’s likely where he is.” said Gene. A noise then interrupted Gene….SHING! “PATRICK SNAIL! WATCH----- “
“NOOO!!!”Screamed Gene. “A windows symbol covered in razors just had to kill you!”
“Ughh, am…I….going…to live?” Patrick Snail said while blood was gushing from him.
“Yes…you’ll be alright! Just hang in there!” said Gene. “YOU’RE GOING TO PAY FOR THIS GATES! WELL, I KNOW YOU COULD PAY FOR IT! BUT…DAMN….Uhhh…YEAH!” said Gene.
“Patrick Snail…We hardly knew thee.” Said Ace. “Leave him Gene, there’s nothing we can do. Even if we went back in time and saved him from this…he would just end up dying again anyways. Just face it, he’s a jinks.”
“You’re, you’re right. We can’t change the past.” Solemnly said Gene.
“…” said Ace.
“But, this just gives us all the more motivation to FINISH BILL GATES!” yelled Gene.
“Let’s do it together Bro.” said Ace.
“Rock on man.” Replied Gene.
“Let’s get em’!”
“Let’s say it together man…
“KISS POWER!”
Meanwhile in Mr. Bill Gates him self’s office….
CRRRRRRRRRACKKKK!!!
“Alright Mr. Gates! Now that we’ve broke your office door, we’re going to kill you. KISS STYLE!”
“I don’t believe you will…”Mr. Gates replied. BEEP! He Pressed a button making a glass chamber surround Ace, and Gene. “Muahahahaha! Try getting out of that! Don’t even try that “Materia” stuff of yours. It would just hit you instead of me.”
“Damn you Bill Gates!” yelled Gene.
“Ahhh, no need for profanity, or I’ll emit gas into your “cage” muahahahaha!” Bill yelled. “In fact, I’ll just do that anyways.”
“Ugghhh…getting….weak….uhhhh…” said Gene while collapsing to the floor.
“Ugghh, can’t….move….can’t….” said Ace as he collapsed on top of Gene.
“Muahahahahahahahahaha!!!” laughed Bill.
Meanwhile….after waking from unconsciousness…
“Man? Why is it so hot?” said Gene sounding tired.
…. “Ughhh…yeah…why is it so hot. And, why are we hanging upside-down over a pit of molten lava?” replied Ace
“WHOA?!” Gene said as he began to realize their situation.
“Jeez, Mr. Gates has everything!”
“I hate Bill Gates! Yeah you heard me Mr. Gates!”
“How are we going to get out of this?”
“I GOT IT! I can use my “ICE” Materia!” said Gene. “ICE!” Then, once again, the Yellow vortex of light rotated vigorously around him. SHINNNNGGGAAADOOKK!!! “Yes! The lava is now ice! And, our ropes are now extremely fragile….oh….damn….we’re still like 300 ft up. If we fall, were goners!”
“Well, I guess it’s good that I packed an extra pair of KISS HOVER BOOTS!” yelled Ace.
“ROCK ON!” replied Gene. “Give me a pair!”
“DONE!” yelled Ace, as he threw the pair of KISS HOVER BOOTS.
“Alright, All set.” Said Gene. “Ok, we can break the ropes, and then hover to safety.” said Gene.
“DONE!!” Ace said as he fell with Gene along side.
“AHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Ace screamed while falling.
“AHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Gene yelled also, while falling.
“C’MON KISS HOVER BOOTS!!! WORK!” screamed Ace. They kicked in right as he said those words. And, surprisingly enough, Gene’s KISS HOVER BOOTS turned on at the Exact same time.
“Jeez…we’re finally back on land…” said Gene.
“Yeah…Let’s go beat the SNAIL out of BILL GATES!” yelled Ace.
“Uhhh…YEAH!!!”
CRRRRRRRRRRACKKKKKKK!
“We’re back to kill you Bill!” commanded Gene.
“AND WERE GOING TO BEAT THE FACE OUT OF YOU!” said Ace.
“Oh yeah? And, where is Mr.Landon?!” commanded Gene.
RRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIPPPPPPP!
“I AM MR.JOHN LANDON!” screamed John Landon.
“Noooo….”Gene dropped to his knees. “All of this to save John Landon, and then Bill Gates turns out to be him.”
“Well, what do we do now Gene?” Asked Ace.
“We must Kill John Landon.” Bravely said Gene. Gene then lunged at John, and ripped his face off. Only to find… “DAMN! IT IS BILL GATES!” Gene said.
“Wow, this is messed.” replied Ace Frehley. Gene pulled out his knife launcher, and shot Bill Gates 2123 times in the Jugular.
“Jeez Gene, one shot would’ve done it.” Said Ace.
“It was for Patrick Snail.” Replied Gene.
“HELP!” the REAL John Landon commanded.
“Oh no! John Landon is being drowned in a tank of turtle juice!” said Gene. “Hurry ace! Use you KISS GAUNTLETS!” yelled Gene.
“Right!” replied Ace.
SMMMMMMMMMMMMAAAASSSSSSHHHHHH!
“Ugghhh…” John murmured.
“You are alright now…you’re in good hands John Landon.” Said Ace.
“You know John, your wife called us as soon as she found you were gone. You should thank her when you get home.” Said Gene.
“Thank her? You mean Thank you! If it weren’t for you, I’d be dead right now.” Said John.
“We should get out of here…But first…
“TO THE KISSCOPTER!”
“So, John, What do you like to do on your spare time?” asked Gene.
“Usually, I go home and play on my MAC computer, with MAC OS X.” said John.
“…”said Gene.
“What?” asked John.
“I…HATE….MAC’S!!!” Furiously screamed Gene. He stood up, picked up John Landon, and hung him out the door of the KISSCOPTER by his collar. “JOHN LANDON! COMPLETELY REVERSE THE LAST SENTENCE YOU SAID IF YOU WANT TO LIVE!” lashed out Gene. “Just joking!” Gene added.
Then they all laughed together after, the not so funny “joke.”
“So Gene, lets say it together…”Ace said.
“KISS POWER!”

StarFront BattleWars

“Mphh, mphh…mphh, hmphh.”
“Sir?”
“Mphh?”
“Sir, I don’t think your speaker is on.”
“Mphh…”
The commander of the republic then clicked on his speaker.
“CLICK.” “Is that better?” Eagerly replied the commander.
“Yes commander.”
“Well then, now that that problem is settled, maybe I can continue. Or restart, I guess.”
“Yes commander.”
“You can stop with the “commander” thing Steve. I’m not one of those stuck up commanders that would kill the first person who he would call him by his first name.”
“But commander, I don’t know your first name.”
“It’s…It’s…Kelly.”
“Kelly?”
“Don’t ask questions. I don’t like it as much as you do.”
“No, no sir I have nothing against the name…Kelly.” The Commander then noticed the troops face begin to turn bright red.
“Let it all out troop.”
“Will do, Commander…Kelly. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”
“Ok, ok that’s enough. I didn’t tell you, you could shatter Tatooine.”
“To late sir, it’s…gone.”
“What?!”
“But sir! It’s not from my laughter.”
“What’d you mean!?”
“It was just attacked by 387,932,127 bombers. Along with Hoth, which was also mutilated.”
“Not Hoth! That was my favorite level on that game that is coincidently similar to the name of this short story!”
“Commander Kelly, ha-ha. I preferred the platforms myself.”
“Enough on that. We need to gather the rest of our troops.”
“I’ll get right on that Commander Kelly, ha-ha.”
“Just go get the troops.”
The troop had sounded the P.A system on board. “Attention all troops. Attention all troops. Emergency meeting with Commander Kelly, ha-ha. Report to him immediately. Again, report to Commander Kelly Immediately.” After the emergency call, every troop in the building had burst out laughing. “HA-HA-HA! His names Kelly!” said a random troop nobody cares about, and will likely not be mentioned again in this entire story.
“I’ll never hear the end of this. Sure, my name is Kelly. It’s a man’s name to you know! It’s just not very masculine sounding.” He then began to speak to the whole crowd of “Mature” troops.
“Alright, I’ve just been informed that Tatooine, and Hoth, were attacked by, 392…Never mind, A lot of bombers, and were mutilated. This may be hard for some of you to take, since you may have had family on one of the two planets. We, need to take action, and get back at those evil “empirates.” They’re quickly destroying the galaxy, leaving no mercy on what they do. We, as a republic army, are going to take down the empirates, before they take us down first. But, if they happen to surprise attack us, what am I kidding? Were screwed. And in that case, everyone run like pansies for there lives. I know I will. I’ll probably even wet myself. Ok, before I rant on too much about my personal life, let’s just get moving men! Are you with me?!”
“Well, I guess we sort of have to listen to what you say.”
“Shut up, random troop from the crowd that was never supposed to speak ever again in this entire story.”
“Oh, ye---“
“Just stop, now.” Stopping the random troop from the audience who spoke, now three times, when he was only allowed to speak once, in this entire story. “Ok, everyone into their own personal ships. We’re going on a scouting mission to find the empirates.”
Then was the sound of thousands of Troops walking towards their personal ships, fully loaded with a instant everything button. “Everyone ready?!”
“Sir, you just told us to load in half a minute ago. You really expect us all to be ready?”
“Yes, as a matter of fact I do.” Remarked Commander Kelly. “How would you all react in case of a fire?”
“Well, that would put our everything resistant suits to good use.”
“Yes, I guess it would. Now go load in your ship.”
“Yes Commander Kelly, Ha-ha.”
“You could at least do it behind my back.”
“I’ll try Commander Kelly.” The troop then walked behind Commander Kelly and started to burst laughing.
“Very clever. Very clever.”
“Thank you Commander.”
“You idiot, I wasn’t actually commenting you. It was a figure of speech. And, how many times, do I have to tell you to GO TO YOUR SHIP.”
“Will do Commander.”
“Ships ready?!”
“As ready as we’ll ever be,”
“Well it’s about time isn’t it troops!” As he finished talking, a stereotypical woman voice came on the speaker. “Ready for launch in 10, 9, 8,…3,2,1-----“
“Hey! Countdown lady! You forgot to say 7, 6, 5, 4! I hate it when people do that!” Said another random troop.
“Shut up fool. I do what I’m told.”
“What? Count wrong?”
“Shush.”
“Don’t shush me lady announcer!”
“Launch” As she touched the launch button, there was an overwhelming amount of noise. But overheard most of all, was the troop that was screaming because he just ripped in half from the force of the escape door opening. ”I told you I was going to launch, but you just didn’t listen fool.”
“Arrghh. Where are my legs?! I can’t feel my legs!”
“The last time I seen them they were splattered against the wall.”
“Oh my god! I haven’t felt this much pain in my life! This is what you do to people who talk back to you?”
“Well, one time I severed off a man’s head with a banana, because he kind of stared at me in a wrong way.”
“What?! Are you insane!”
“I guess I could be. I never thought about it.”
“Oh great, so we have a female murderer for an announcer.”
“I guess you do.”
* * *
Meanwhile in space…
“Commander, we’ve spotted enemy forces.”
“Don’t let them see you troop, if they throw a magazine at us, our ship would explode. These ships are made of very flammable cardboard.”
“You’re kidding me right?”
“Nope.”
“So why exactly did we send ALL of our troops to scout out the Empirates, if they just have to throw a magazine at our ship to make a chain reaction of explosions, killing all of our men?”
“I never thought of that. You smart republic troop.”
“Thanks sir, but shouldn’t we at least spread out? All of our ships are practically on top of each other.”
“Good thinking troop. Attention all troops spread out. And DON’T let the Empirates see you! I can’t stress that enough!”
Meanwhile at the Empirates base…
“Muahahaha! Are they mentally handicapped?” Bursted Darth Flavor.
“As a matter of fact Lord, I believe they’re commander is.”
“I mean do they actually think we can’t see them? Their ships are bright orange!”
“Once again Lord, I don’t think they think that we can see them.”
“Those idiots. Take out the magazine launcher!”
“We have one of those?”
“Yes. For some reason we do.”
“Well Lord, I’ll get it ready for use.” Darth Flavors slave then reaches for the microphone. ”Attention all Empirates! Get the Magazine launcher ready for use, immediately!” Then, all you could hear was this.
“Magazine launcher?! When did we get one of those?”
“We stole it from a planet no one cares about.” Announced Slave.
“Oh ok.” Replied the confused troops. The troops then pulled the Magazine launcher out of the floor, and set it into position.
“Fire the Magazine launcher!” Yelled Slave once again.
“COMMANDER KELLY…ha-ha!”
“Ugghh. What now?”
“I see what appears to be magazines flying at a rapid pace towards us!”
“What?! The Empirates saw you?!”
“What’d you expect Commander?”
“All troops think of a desk, and then press the everything button. Then hide under the desks for protection! Do it A.S.A.P!”
“But, sir what will that accomplish?”
“EVERYTHING!”
“Alright here goes nothing.”
“Did it work?”
“Actually, no. These everything buttons are faulty sir!”
“DAMN YOU TOYS R US! DAMN YOU!”
“Sir, you bought the buttons from Toys r us?”
“Not only the buttons.”
“What?!”
“I’ll tell you later.”
“But the magazines are just about to make impact!”
“Well, how ‘bout praying? It might work.”
“Are you kidding me Commander? You have no form of back-up plan?”
“Nope.”
“Alright sir, I’m taking over from here, you proved to me…Well, that you’re a retard, and you no nothing.”
“You can’t do that?!”
“All troops head back to base in hyper drive. We must get back before the magazines destroy us all. We may lose a few of you, but a few is better than our entire army. I repeat turn back now!”
All of the ships did a dramatic flip and turn, and shifted to hyper drive. 2500 troops died on the way back. One lived. ”We’ll sir, it appears that our army sucks, and can’t do anything.”
“I guess you’re right Troop. It’s just you, Me, and this Slave, that HASN’T GOT ME MY COFFEE YET!”
“Lord, I’ll get right on it.”
“You’d better. Or else!”
“Or else what Lord?”
“I’ll send you back to Tatooine.”
“Uhh, sir?” said the Troop. “Tatooine’s mutilated, there’s nothing left.”
“What?!...Oh yeah, that.”
“And since when did you get a slave? I thought we were the good guys?”
“Well, Darth Flavor has one, and I just wanted to be popular.”
“I see.”
“SLAVE!? Is my coffee ready?”
“Just about Lord.”
“And…” Interrupted the Troop again. “Why does he call you Lord? Your, your, just a Commander. There’s like 50 people that are above you in rank.”
“Yeah, well, shut up!”
“So what are we going to do about the Empirates now? We have no army.”
“We’ll have to do it alone, I guess.”
“By alone, do you mean me, and the slave?”
“Yes, as a matter of fact I do.”
“Well, I guess we’d better make a plan then.”
“No plan.”
“What’d mean no plan?”
“We don’t need one if we have this!”
“Sir, you have absolutely nothing.”
“Oh that’s where you’re wrong.”
“Sir, I’m sure you have absolutely nothing.”
“You may call it nothing, but I call it the “Weapon of Mass Minor Inconviences.”
“I call that, well I don’t know what I would call that. I guess we can try it out.”
“Alright Troop, get out your gun, and shoot the “Weapon of Mass Minor Inconviences.”
“Alright here we go.” He pulls out his blaster rifle, loads in the “Weapon of Mass Minor Inconviences” aimed it at the Empirates mother ship, and fired. “There. Now what do we do?”
“We wait.”
* * *
Back at the Empirates Base, 5 minutes after the launch of the “Weapon of Mass Minor Inconviences.”
“What the hell?!” angrily said Darth Flavor.
“What lord?”
“I have a scratch on my helmet! I take very good care of my helmet! I have never scratched my helmet!”
“Sir.” Interrupted an Empirate. “There’s broken glass every where’s. The Republic must have shot something at us, but I don’t see anything that could have broken the window.”
“ I think I know what it was.” Replied Darth Flavor.
“What?”
“ The “Weapon of Mass Minor Inconviences.” That’s why I have the scratch on my helmet.”
“The “Weapon of Mass Minor Inconviences?”
“Yes.” Replied Flavor. “They were too stupid to think of something more destructive. So, they made a device which causes mass minor incoviences, wherever it is. It’s actually quite clever. Because after a few years, the minor inconviences, make you go insane.”
“Well, I guess we’ll have to go find it and send back what they made.”
“You can’t find it.” Once again replying Flavor. “It’s impossible”
“Oh that’s just wonderful. Hey my shoe is gone. That’s a minor inconvience.”
“See! That’s exactly what it does. Except for after a few days, it will poke us in our sleep and shoot us while were eating.”
“Shoot us while were eating sir?!”
“Yes!”
“You can’t be serious!”
“Yes!”
That’s impossible!”
“Yes!”
“Don’t you mean “No.” sir?”
“Yes!”
“We need to get back at those Republicans.”
“Yes!”
“Alright Seriously, that’s enough.”
“Yes!”
“…”
“Yes!”
“Alright sir that time I didn’t even say anything.”
“Yes!”
“Do you want me to punch you Lord? Or should I even ask?”
“Yes!”
“I thought so.” He then picked up his fist and released all of his power, anger and will, straight onto the Lords face. “How do you feel now?”
“…”
“Sir?”
“…”
“Sir!?”
“…”
“SIR!?”
“…”
“Are you dead?!”
“Yes!”
“No, anything but that!” He then picked up both fist and started whaling on the lord’s face, until blood was seeping from all parts of the mask. “What have I done?! I killed Lord Flavor!”
“Man, I’m a slave, and I was never even beaten that badly.”
“Shut up slave! You want the same thing to happen to you?!”
“No sir!” He then pranced off into the corner.
“ I guess the only thing to do is to take the lords clothes.” He then exchanged suits with the lord, and went to the bathroom to clean up his face, and the mask that was seeping with blood.
Meanwhile back in the ship with three people on it…
“Sir I think we should attack.”
“Why is that?”
“Because I felt the power of the Empirates drop.”
“Alright, as you wish.”
Meanwhile back in the Empirates base…What the Empirates didn’t know, is the Darth Flavor had implanted himself with a bomb. That bombs timer was to start, when his heart stops. Once it starts, the Empirates have one hour to escape. Keep that in mind and keep reading on.
“Ahh, I’m finally all suited up, and ready to go. Man I look pretty tasty in this suit.” As he said while posing into the full length mirror. “Hey, what’s that small beeping noise I hear?” He went back into the room where he had brutally beaten Lord Flavor to investigate. He found the noise lead right to Lord Flavor’s bloody corpse. He put his ear up to his stomach. “BEEP, BEEP, BEEP”
“Oh no.” He picked up his fist once again and rammed his hand into his stomach, ripping, and tearing the flesh. He did that several more times, breaking right through the layers of flesh and fat. “Oh god, this is disgusting.” He was searching through the inside of his body to find exactly what he expected. A bomb. “Yes! I found it! Only 23 minutes left. Got to act fast.” He said.
“I can’t tell the others. It would panic them. 19 minutes to go.”
Meanwhile back at the republican ship…
“15 minutes ‘till launch troop.”
“Ok, I’ll be ready.”
“Wouldn’t it be great if there Mother ship just exploded?”
“I guess it would be.”
“So what do I do for the remainder of 13 minutes?”
“Don’t be impatient.”
Meanwhile again back the Empirates base…
“I have a plan. I’ll use an escape pod and leave the bomb here.” He then followed up with his plan and flew away leaving all of the Empirates, well, screwed. Because for some reason the is only one escape pod on the whole ship. “MUAHAHAHA! No one is smarter than I!”
“Hey, Empirate!”
“WHAT! SLAVE!?” The slave then pulls out a shotgun and a knife and blew his head off with one shot, and then stabbed him in the heart for comfort. You may be wondering how the slave go in the escape pod. It’s quite simple. When the slave had seen Darth Flavor get brutally killed, he went and hid in the escape pod, and equipped himself with a shotgun and knife. “Well, I guess I’d better go to the Republican ship, to tell the news.” He the flew through space until reaching destination.
“Hey! I see an enemy ship!” Reported the Troop. “Fire at it slave! Use the magazine launcher!” The salve then started firing magazines at the ship, and they began to puncture the windshield. After a while of firing the magazines, the windshield broke, sending the slave inside into space… “Oh, he wasn’t a Empirate. Oops.” The slave then burst into flames and melted into space.
Meanwhile back at the Empirates base…The countdown said 1 minute. And still, the Empirates on board know nothing about it.
“Hey, you want to go get some coffee in a minute?”
“Sure Ed.” 12 seconds remaining.
“Hey you want to go right now instead?”
“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!”
Meanwhile back at the Republican base…
“Holy crap! Did you see that?! Cancel the launch!”
“Will do.”
“Wow, the base did explode without us doing anything. That’s pretty cool.”
“Yeah, we really did do absolutely nothing didn’t we?”
“Yep.”
“Poor Slave. We should have checked who was in the ship.”
“Meh, no big loss.”
.”That explosion was pretty awesome.”
“Yeah, it was.”
“It went like BOOM!”
“Yep.”
“So what do you think happened to Darth Flavor?”
“He likely died in the blast, like all of the other Empirates.”
“Or did he?”
“Couldn’t tell ya. It’s just a fair guess.”
“How are we going to end this conversation?”
“…”
“…”

Nintenzone Ad's...

Don't worry, if you click on this ad, it won't make your computer instantly explode. It's just a link to register for my friends new forum. He's advertising me, so i'm advertising him. Make sense? No? Well your likely mentaly retarded, and you probably don't know anything. But, if you do understand, CONGRATULATIONS! You can read...

I don't want to KILL Mr. Mattocks, I just don't want him to be alive, anymore.

I really hate this teacher. He's my Science teacher. At first i thought he'd be cool, because he was Scottish, and Scottish people are awesome, in most cases. This guy, is an absolute MOPDOG. I don't know what MOPDOG means but he deserves to be called one. He has a rule, that your only allowed to ask three questions a period, per student. EVEN DURING QUIZES. What is wrong with him? He must have a slobbering fetus jammed in his urethra. And EVERY TIME he moves his head, he closes his eyes. Do you know how irritating that is?! JESUS CHRIST! How many ticks do you have! I went to ask him a question during a test, and he walked away like he never even saw me. I hate Mr. Mattocks.

Uhhh, I wrote this, and i don't even know what it means.

Since your missing half your body, and your quickly being digested by your grandmother, but you took the dell with you, and I told you about the sale. This must be your destiny.

ROCK LOBSTER!

Man...this song is hilarious. just go to www.ytmnd.com. I learned to play the song...It's easy...but its funny. I LOVE FAMILYGUY! ahhhh... Theres nothing better than the parodies they come up with. Lots of racist humor. (I am not racist, but making fun, is fun.) anyways you'll enjoy Peter's version of Rock Lobster.

MY EVIL SISTER FROM HELL.

My sister surprisingly enough is 6 years OLDER than me. Yet she acts like one of those evil two year olds. When she was twelve she was INSANE beyond repair. She actually tried to stab my brother, but was unsuccessful. She would have killed him had he not picked up up chair to block the knifes impact. She has become a tad better in the "trying to kill" category. She'll throw a plate now and again...AT ME! But usually i dodge it and it smashes against the wall. If i even accidently bump into her, i 'd better pull out my sheild because somethings about to fly in my direction. One time i just flicked her in the arm and she backhanded me in the face. Also my brother through a dart at my leg but this isn't about him. There was a night last week where a skunk sprayed the dogs, so sam had to sleep in the basement where i sleep. She was using a pillow (My pillow) so i took it from her, and somehow the remote fell on her face. So guess what she did, she through a plate at my leg... and again was unsuccessful. And also another broken plate for ME to pick up because she is lazier than a dead 68985 pound woman. Every two seconds "Darren! GO GET ME FOOD!" if i do not do it... she yells until she does. Or throws a plate at me. Or she'll say "Darren! GO GET ME WATER!" and if i don't respond you won't here the end of it... or you'll just hear "CRASH! CRASH!" From the endless amount of plates she always seems to have around to throw if she gets angry.

I think it's about time to rant more about the worst game of all time...BINGO!

Ok... first of all my friend told me to rant more about this topic... so i will...Alright,i hate this game so much i would rather eat dead eggs and rotten crotch than play it. The downside of BINGO is every aspect of the game and the people who play it.I know, it sounds harsh but after playing BINGO you feel as if you lost 36457467 hours of your life. You know why? It's because that is how long it takes to play bingo. It never ends. I can't belive i was forced to play this pile of grot. For all you people who ask what is "Grot" I do not know because i don't care and i hate BINGO. Old people, they all play bingo except for my grandfather which is cool. They never bathe, they don't give a care about their personal hygiene, all they care about is getting to BINGO on time. They go every night they possibly can except for saturdays which is their "day off" so to speak. I asked my "step-grandmother" why she is so dedicated to going to BINGO? she replied "It's how i make a living." Now that, sorry to say is quite sad. She told me she never sits outside, she just goes to bingo, holy crap old! get a friggin' life! I know their on their pension then but JESUS! SIT OUTSIDE YOU GOROPHOBIC! She went outside for 10 minutes and got a sunburn. Now i realize i'm way off the topic of hating BINGO, so lets get back to that. When i was playing this so called "BINGO" i was getting fiesty and my attention span was not very long. I looked at the amount of games that were left. There was 25 games left. I freaked and gave the cards to my dad and sat at the table and felt as if i couldn't handle the place for another minute. just at that time my aunt and cousin arrived so i finally had someone to talk to other than Old people, who even when you talk to them, they can't hear, or see you. There was this Old woman that looked 9875234087523 but she was literally three feet tall and looked like a child with an old face. It was the creepiest thing of all time. I can't believe she was alive. She looked like a dead person. I have to sleep now...

I HATE BINGO.

I just got back from Cape Breton Today. Today was ok,but Friday night...*sigh* was BINGO NIGHT!At first i thought it would be fun because my Step Grandmother told me to go and that i would have a good time...she was horribly...horribly wrong. after about the first 30 or fourty games...i started to hallucinate. My eyes were red and i felt drunk...Now i know why so many Old People go. But it was a bad time. My mom asked if i was having an allergic reaction to something...i said "Yeah...i'm allergic to something...OLD PEOPLE!" i couldn't wait any longer to get out of that old person paradise. They were starting t get rowdy from the bingo playing.Now the trick was getting out. i was carefully walking to the exit scared if i touched someone i would kill them and they would fall and cause a chain reaction knocking over and killing all of the old people in the building. I finally escaped the chamber of the slow walking fragile people.Now to escape the parking lot. And you all know how old people drive...they dont care what they hit,they have to be home in time for Matlock. We were almost hit by the savages several times those Gambling,Matlock loving bastards.

How to make a Fake lightsaber look real on Jasc Paint Shop Pro...

All you have to do is follow these two very simple steps...1- go to the picture tube setting and choose either "Neon Green" or "Neon Pink"...go over the blade of the lightsaber with the picture tube setting...2-then very simply use the fill tool and fill in the middle with pure white...and there you have it!! A quick and easy way to make yourself look like a real Jedi Master....Kloopdog.

Super Nintendo is the Best!

I don't think any system can compare to the Snes....of course the graphics are way better nowadays...but now producers keep making the graphics better and the gameplay worse..almost all Snes games you can have lots of fun with...but now they either suck...or their excellent...i've only come across a few new games that i have gotten hooked on...but Snes...games like Contra 3:the alien wars....a classic Snes game...it leaves you playing until you beat it...its a very challenging and fun..and you can only beat it if you figure out the patterns for each part...thats why i like it....and the games Megaman X, Megaman X2, and Megaman X3, 4, were fun and six was good as well....but then they stuck in the stuff that ruined Megaman...

Xbox 360?...or PS3?

Well ever since Sony announced that they couldnt afford to actually make what they said they were going to do...i'm pro Xbox 360...well i have been ever since it was revealed...but everyone was saying last year how PS3 is going to own,...but then...Sony said that...all of the sudden people have been turning to the Xbox 360...hehe i wonder why... people now think the xbox 360 is going to own...i cant wait to buy the xbox 360 this year...http://www.xbox360.com/..sadly enough PS3 doesnt have a homepage...so you'll have to go to "Gamespot" or something for that...i would give you a comparison chart but the things inside the PS3 have changed so it would be completely wrong...thanks...Kloopdog.

Jamie Dalrymple is a RETARD!

Remember that blog "I Hate Adventure Quest" well this guy loves it...he paid the money to get the music...he is truly a retard...he tried to even get me to pay...i said i hate you and this crap called "Adventure Quest" He told me that more people play it than "Guild Wars" one of the biggest "MMO'S" of the year... i dont see "Adventure Quest" on the top 10 list therefore its horrible...and you can try this piece of crap at your house at this site... http://www.battleon.com/ and even though i gave you the link to barf crap city... i advise you not to go to it...and if you do you'll only play the game for one second...then you'll see a piece of crap dog thing that tells you what to do...and even worse..theres no gameplay or replayability..you dont even walk around you click on the place you want to go...it reminds me of Dora the Explorer the interactive video game....just even worse...So please stay away...Just stay away.....Kloopdog

Fat Hawaiian Woman....

Well my sister went to a restaurant...the cook...was a fat hawaiian woman...get this...her name is Lue..the food was tasteless...well it tasted like sheep in her opinion...not cooked sheep...raw sheep...lets just say..that even the waitress was greasy and fat...seems like a wonderful restaurant to me....fat hawaiian woman..and just plain fat women...if you see a sign that says go to theresa and lindas diner...turn the other way...kloopdog

The Legend of Zelda.....

Its about friggin time they release a game thats not bubblegum filled....i cn't wait for the release of "The legend of Zelda:Twilight Princess" Finally they are coming out with another Ocarina of time style game....for more info on The legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess go to

Mario Guitar!

this is pretty cool...i play guitar myself and can play some of this...i could learn over time...but for now....just watch the video http://www.ebaumsworld.com/marioguitar.html

Anyone Who hasnt seen super mario bros 3 be beaten in 11mins...

Here is the link to an amazing Super Mario Bros 3 record...watch it...BELIEVE IT!!http://www.ebaumsworld.com/smb3beat-r.html 18.5 mb

Star Wars Vs. LOTR, who will win?

I'll tell you who will win....Star Wars...now i'll tell you why...main reason-LOTR has too many gay people...everyone is gay....they might as well have a "Gay" tea party and all dance and prance in a gay fashion for three hours...Stupid gay bastards...Now Star Wars....they have LIGHTSABERS!! Who could even match that? and cool jedi names light "Qui-gon-jinn" and "Obi-Wan-Kenobi"...it LOTR they have names like "Gandalf"what is that? and what a coincidence...hes actually gay...and what kind of main character name is "Frodo" that sounds like a type of ice cream... its just...plain...gay...and whats the deal with Sam and Frodo? there obviously gay parteners...Sam just got married as a cover up? did you see those emotions pouring out when sam and Frodo talk to each other?ok i could go on forever on how gay this movie really is...so this blog is done....Kloopdog.

Correction....

sorry for saying that "Chrono Trigger" was published by "Squaresoft" it was "Square" that published it....no wonder i messed up they have a kagillion names.......anyways thats all for tonight...

Zsnes emulator, and roms!

ok in my opinion the Zsnes is the best but i'll give you a few to choose from...http://www.rom-world.com/file_emu.php?id=75 - the Zsnes Emulator....http://www.rom-world.com/file_emu.php?id=73 - the SNES9x v.1.39.... http://www.rom-world.com/file_emu.php?id=74 - the SNES9x and heres the link to the Actual best game of all time Chrono Trigger - http://www.rom-world.com/file.php?id=25570 .....And for all the best Roms and Emulators...http://www.rom-world.com/

To hopefully get this game back lets start off by signing a petition!!

Go to this site to easily and quickly sign this...please...even if your not a big fan we need more signatures to put a dent in this....http://www.petitiononline.com/chr1337/petition.html thanks a lot...I know its likely been awhile since anyone has really spoke of this...but i just found out about the "Chrono Trigger:Resurrection" franchise and how it started production in 2003....but i just heard about this whole thing about a week ago...i found the homepage of the game http://www.opcoder.com/projects/chrono/news/ and i was all hyped up thinking that it was coming out...and my dad usually hates video games but he loved chrono trigger for the SNES. I was amazed when he told me he would buy it for me when it came out....But those bastards at "Square Enix" stopped production and took them to court...and of course "Square Enix" had one the battle...Ever since i saw this page a week ago....http://www.opcoder.com/projects/chrono/ o freaked out...What kind of Idiot would cancel a #1 hit best seller classic? "Well, I have the answer....Those bastards at "Square Enix" and why the hell do they have to change their name it seems like daily? why couldn't they stick with the original? "Squaresoft" that was much cooler. I know the producers wanted to GIVE it to the public for free...and thats very likely why they stopped production...but i mean, COME ON!!! I am willing to pay cash for this game!!! i will pay 100 bucks for this game...chrono trigger...ahhh the old days...is my FAVORITE GAME OF ALL TIME!! thats why i got so hyped in the news of the production of this game "Chrono Trigger:Resurrection" Ever since the last couple of years..."Square Enix" has been sucking...with hardly any game releases...if they were to release this remake of "Chrono Trigger" they would swim back to the surface with ease...and everyone would know that "Square Enix" is finally starting to think...i mean full metal alchemist..and overall rating of 51%...What kind of crap is that?! when the company was "Squaresoft" all of the games released were amazing!!E.I the older Final Fantasy Games...Parasite eve...And of course the ultimate champ..."CHRONO TRIGGER" even on G4tv Adam Sessler(the host of X-Play) said that Square Enix Has not produced any "Good" games in years....By "good" he means...there not even average....Well i hope you guys who read this enjoyed...and i hope to see the petition have rising numbers...will update daily...get trailers of "Chrono Trigger:Resurrection" Here http://www.opcoder.com/projects/chrono/ note:this is the same website as the cease and desist page...this contains Trailers, Screenshots, and what exactly the production team recieved... thanks Kloopdog A.k.a Darren

I Hate Adventure Quest...

Holy Crap...this game is horrible...i can't believe people can actually play this game and like it! its a load of CRAP!...for one thing its Anime...I hate Anime..with the exception of "Chrono Trigger"..i hate it with a passion...and this supposedly "MMO" is loaded in it. for one thing you have to pay the 20 dollar member fee...(Which i obviously didn't even consider.) what the 20 dollar member fee gets you is some small enhancements of crap...and music...yes you need to pay for the music...i thought oh my god, these people are all insane...they can all just shove Adventure Crap up there nostrils....Go play Guild Wars instead of wasting your time on this piece of crap.

Ahhh....Family Guy...who could live without it?

Who could possibly not like Family Guy?...the exception of def and blind people...if you need a dose of non-stop fun and laughter...family guy is what you need...not Drugs like all of the stupid people turn to...Well...i guess not all druggies are stupid...but thats another story for another time....Family guy...man i love that show...I can't believe it was cancelled for a certain amount of time...until it finally came back.....and you know why? because there was a petition...so thats why were trying to do the same thing with "Chrono Trigger:Resurrection" but theres a fairly lengthy blog about that already...but back to family guy...i mean Rasicist Jokes...i'm not rasicist but who could not laugh at the humour in it? and also the classic fat jokes....as seen in the episode where chris goes on a diet...thats episode is loaded in fat jokes...but if you have never heard or never watched Family Guy...i would strongly advise yuo to do so...There will more info on family guy in my near future blogs....Thanks Kloopdog...A.K.A Darren. http://www.familyguy.com/ Go there....

THE ULTIMATE SITE

This is an awesome page...absoulutely awesome....filled with hilarious humour and useful information....Go Here Right now...you won't regret it.. - http://maddox.xmission.com/ also known as " The best page in the Universe"